The Me I want to be

Oh the things that could have been...and the things that could be.
First of all, I'm FAR from perfect. Just ask my sisters. :) I am opinionated, free spirited, vocal, obnoxious (at times), firm, and bull headed.  Most people that have known me all my life just take me with a grain of salt, and a lot of vodka or tequila. lol  I'm not easy. Never have been, never will be.

However, I am real. I am loyal. I am honest to a fault, and I believe in integrity to the "inth" degree.  If you cannot have character and integrity with honesty, then what are you doing in this life?  I believe in being real, and telling it like it is.  Some don't like that, and I've lost several friends and 'sort of' friends along the way because of it.  I say it like it is...and I've honestly done my best to try and be political in most situations, but I can't help it! I'm like a fire that burns away the crap and leaves only the bare naked truth behind.  This is all I've ever known.  I was born in the 60's, and I should have been born before that so I could have LIVED in the 60's. Ah well. 

I get on my soap box and I tend to get a little vocal and heated about things I believe in. Sometimes (mostly) I find it alienates me from a lot of people.  I believe in justice...and fairness...and being kind to the underdog.  People don't like me because I've always Rocked The Boat.  Well, I guess I will always be the outsider looking in, because I cannot change that about me.  I guess I missed my calling in life somewhere along the way. I think I should have been an advocate for abused women, animals, or children.  I just never found it. 

Now, I'm looking at my life and I feel as if I've missed something. I'm 42 years old, and I believe I have missed something. Something I was meant to do!  I live out in the middle of nowhere...but with today's technology that doesn't really mean much. You're never really ever cut off if you have internet. :)

I want to someday make a difference...in lives other than my children.  I want to BE that person that stood up for something I believed in, and helped make a CHANGE. 

Watch out world.  The me that will emerge after bypass surgery is going to be a force to be reckoned with.  I will be a voice.  I believe that many of us have smothered that voice within us because of fear or shame. Whichever.

Being political about things can only take us so far.  Why do we hide behind fear when we believe in something?  I'll never understand the people that just talk and talk and talk...and never seem to accomplish anything.

I want more.