A happy me

A happy me
family - is everything

Saturday, March 19, 2011

The continued WAIT/Support Groups/Teen agers

So, now the wait continues.  Monday night is the first 'support group' meeting. I say this lightly, as it's basically a seminar setting where they have a speaker and he goes over some issue that pertains to weight loss surgery and the journey.  Great. But what about the REAL support? I mentioned this to the psych eval dr. and he was really open about it! He used to have a real support group that would meet at his office every month...but the main woman that ran it, either moved or something.  But, after speaking to me about the need of a REAL support group, he is inspired to try again! I truly hope he does! I think I may need to send a little note to him in a few weeks as a reminder. hee hee

I have not noticed any groups that meet on a regular basis here in our area.  Perhaps this will be my new focus? I do love a good cause!

On a fun note, I was able to spend an evening and an overnighter w/ my dear friend Louann and her daughter and some of her friends. Oh my....5 teen agers (age 13 - going on 20?)! What a refreshing time! I mean, they are SO full of life and excitement!!! A bunch of screaming teens singing Justin Bieber (?) at the top of their lungs in the car...yeah...I think I am deaf now. ha ha ha  It sure brought back some fun memories of my own I tell ya! Back when Louann and I were too young to drive, and had to rely on my sister to drive us all over town - or Natalie! (xoxo).  We always got stuck in the back seat, as we were the 'younger' ones. Driving through the downtown beach area 'cruising' guys. LOL Oh fun.  So, to see these girls putting on make-up, trying on clothes and shoes. It was FUN!  They all talked about how fat they were, and how they hated their hair or some part of themselves....when in truth they were all beautiful and absolutely amazing fun fun fun girls!  They laughed at me because I have never played w/ an Ipod before! It was fun! I want one. LOL  Oh to have the energy they do! Although it was fun staying up until after 1am talking w/ Louann!!!  I feel totally blessed that they planned their over-nighter around where I live!!! XOXOXO

I really needed a fun filled night like that.  I think though...that I now need a nap. ha ha ha

Thursday, March 17, 2011

I survived the Psych Eval

Ok...so it wasn't as bad as I had thought it might be. The Dr. was a hottie too, so that was a bonus! And, he had a nice handshake.  I do like a man with a firm handshake. One of my pet peeves is a weak handshake. Hmmmmm probably good I didn't mention that during our session. 

I had to answer 380some questions. It felt like I was taking an exam back in high school! You know..where you have to color in the circle of choice w/ a no.2 pencil! ha  Very exciting.  The questions repeated themselves too! Same questions phrased 3 or 4 different ways. Very tricky.  Things like:  "I feel that I have gotten everything I deserve out of life".  They were all true or false answers....and some of them were odd! I mean, how the heck do you answer THAT one?  If I answered TRUE...then I'd be saying I had accomplished all my goals and was ready to die.  If I answered FALSE, I might be saying I felt cheated out of things. LOL Oh the tricky tricky test makers!

To sum it up though, I was there maybe an hour and a half. Easy Peazy. Had a major headache when I left though...probably from using my brain too much. :)

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Psych Evaluation Tomorrow

Ok, so tomorrow is the big day! ha ha The dreaded Psych evaluation! Two and a half hours of testing. Wow. I have this huge funny scenario going on in my head...where they talk to me, give me the paper tests, and never let me leave. Instead, they fit me into one of those comfy white jackets where you hug yourself,  inject me with happy medicine to keep me from freaking out, and then ship me out in a big white van that has no windows. Yup, that is the funny version of the crazy lady shipping out.

Honestly though, I am sure it will be fine!  I have a great outlook on this journey, and what it entails. I just need to get this appointment over with so I can move on to the REAL stuff. ha ha ha  I know this is an important appointment in the 'journey', and I'm not really taking it lightly, so don't worry. I know it's for my own good and for them to sign off on my surgery I have to be serious and know what I'm getting myself into.  ALSO, hopefully this visit will help some of my friends UNDERSTAND that YES, I DO know what I'm doing.  I've had several well-wishing friends freak out a little bit about my decision to do the Gastric Bypass surgery.  They love me, and I get that. They feel it's their Duty to tell me I need to research this procedure and see all the risks I'm getting into because their sister, or friend of their cousin, or cousins uncles nephews grandma had it done, AND MAN! It was terrible for them.  I am glad they care enough to feel the need to be dutiful.  However, once a decision like THIS has been made by someone...there is really no words that can stop the ball from rolling.  Negative or otherwise.

So, please know, my dear friends, that I LOVE you all.  I am glad you feel the duty calling, or as most of you have just been big supporters - knowing this is my own personal journey and understanding that the decision is made. 

There is no need to 'explain' the reasons behind those 'duty' friends.  I know why they feel the need. I've been there too.  I just wish that there was more support thrown in with the 'duty emails'. 

In all honesty....what I really need is just a bunch of "WE LOVE YOU, LANA!!!" comments, and prayers that all will be done with God standing next to the Surgeons and guiding their hands. 

Many people don't GET IT how hard life can be when you're obese.  I don't want to wake up 5 years from now fatter than ever ... and everything else that goes with that life.  I want to try and BE the me I used to be.  If I had not tried everything else out there....do you think I'd be doing this?  Let me restate something I heard from my Doctor...."Only 10% of obese people who actually lose the weight on their own are successful in keeping it off".  So I say this....let's go find all those people on the Biggest Loser from 5 years ago...oh wait! The show isn't that old? hmmmmm  Anyway you see my train of thought here.

Wish me well on the crazy tests tomorrow.  I have my upper GI (reflux) appointment on the 7th of April, and two support group meetings. March 21st, and April 18th I think. THEN I can get a surgery date!

Thank you ... all of you.  I appreciate every single one of you that loves me enough to care to read this babble. LOL