Well, I don't ever say I'm a patient person. I'd be lying. However, as I age...yes age...I find that I have to let some things go, walk away from others, and just plain hold my breath on still more.
We've been working for months now on the Beginning Farmer Loan through the USDA (United States Department of Agriculture) here in our area. It's a fantastic program set up to help new Farmers buy land and buildings/homes etc. to farm. The obstacles are many however. You have to get a purchase agreement w/ a stipulation that says the funding is coming (only God would know when), and if another offer comes in they are freed from the Purchase agreement to take the other offer if they want to. The only problem with this is...not many (if any) want to do this. So...you look and look and look for properties that meet your needs...at maybe a price you can do...and they shoot you down.
We found a great place that I showcased on my blog a few weeks ago. Perfect. House was in need of some tlc, but it's old. ha Turns out that the realtor spoke to the owner today (which happens to be her Mom), and they are not ready to let the property go at the price we can afford.
What does this mean? I have no idea. We wait. Some more. Our house is for sale...so who knows. I know God has a plan. I just hate waiting to find out what it is. He is constantly working on me. I'm a mess. Good thing he gave me a man like Eric because no one else would put up with me.
I sort of saw this whole thing coming with the farm. I really tried to not get my hopes up. I did a pretty good job. After all, I'm practical to a fault. One can't help feeling the disappointment though. The let down. The feelings of "giving up" want to settle in and set up shop.
Plus, I've been fighting the scale over 3 lbs. WHAT??? I was down to 160.8 last friday, and popped back up to 163.1. I don't get it. I think it's because I'm REALLY trying to get that protein in. I'm pushing to get over 50 grams a day in. I feel like I'm either eating something or drinking something ALL DAY LONG. I know I'm getting those Torani syrups (sugar free!) for Christmas...and I cannot wait!!! Theworldaccordingtoeggface.com has some pretty awesome recipes for protein shakes using those syrups!! yummy to my tummy here I come!
Anyway, I'm feeling a bit low tonight on the whole farming front. Dreams are meant to be lived right? Dreams are meant to be fulfilled. I want to be able to show my kids that when mommy and daddy put their minds to something they believe in...we can accomplish it. Today I had to tell them that although we were on "Step 5", we are on HOLD too. Kids rebound faster on this stuff then we do though.
God help me be patient. Please. And give me the strength to continue living in this cute house that is a million miles from everything...school, groceries...etc. Amen.