Well, I won't lie. Yesterday was just one of those days where you want to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over your head and just GO BACK TO SLEEP. If I had a dollar for every single one of those days...hmmmm...I might actually have money in the bank!
I want to be a good role model for my kids, but I have to admit, I am not that great on some days. I fail. I want to show them that it's ok to hurt, cry, get upset, even angry! AND that it's OK to need some space to be alone. I also want to show them that mommy does NOT give up. (ok, doesn't give up easily!)
A good friend of mine sort of gave me a reality check yesterday and I'm pretty grateful for it. He made me see that it wasn't just US that can't get a loan for other property...it's just about everyone. Although the market is fantastic, it will not mean an easy road to financial help. So, the new goal is to just keep trying...bank after bank after bank...until we find someone that will actually TALK to us. I hate having my time wasted! I hate sitting in a 'meeting' going over numbers with someone that is supposed to be able to tell me point blank whether or not I can afford the property we want...only to get NOTHING from them.
So, tomorrow is another day. I did the best thing I could have done this morning! I went and rode my horse. I cannot tell you how grounded I felt afterwards! It's like I found the old me and I was alive again! I'd forgotten how important it is to give yourself some time. Time to do the things you love most of all. To me that is horses. I lived and breathed them for years before I settled down and had a couple of little cutie patootie kids. I've signed up for a clinic in September, and I'm super excited about it! A two day clinic w/ a woman named Sue Hughes. She's amazing. I've watched her teach before and I love her concepts and direction.
So, now that I've made time for my horse and myself, I feel better able to face other things that have knocked me down. I don't quit too easily. So here I go for another try.
I also have to keep in mind what my dear little 7 1/2 yr old told me yesterday..."Mama, it's ok! The only thing that matters is God and our family." Man I love her.