A happy me

A happy me
family - is everything

Monday, February 28, 2011

The life of FAT

Do you ever wonder what it's like to be fat? No? Really? Well, fat people wonder all the time what it would be like to be thin.  We spend our days thinking "what if".  What if I were thin? I could play with my kids! I could ride my horse again! I could be healthy and proud of myself!

Thin people, and yes I'm categorizing you all here in a general way - sorry, love their fat friends. I was a thin person once, and I often wondered why FAT people were SO FAT! Why didn't they just eat less? Why didn't they work out more? Why didn't they try harder to lose weight? Did they spend a lot of time eating too much? Did they eat at fast food places all the time to get that big???????

I'm here to tell you, as a FAT person, that we don't really eat any more than you do on a daily basis.  How did we get here? It's different for all of us.  Me personally? I had kids.  It did something to my body and my body betrayed me. I could no longer 'diet' and lose the weight. I could no longer work out and eat less to lose weight. ANYTHING I tried only helped me stay healthy...but still fat.  I have had my meals at McD's and BK just like anyone has, but I don't eat there every day or every week for that matter. I think on an average I may eat there once or twice a month?  Plus, I've always loved the awesome salads at McD's, so I don't always eat the 'meals' they offer.  I think there are tons of 'thin' people out there that can honestly say they eat at fast food more than that.

So, what keeps us fat?  Stress? Lack of sleep?  Trust me when I tell you, it has nothing with the will power to try or fight!  Fat people are the best at trying! We have will power. Oh yes.  I was watching a youtube video the other day of a bypass patient, and she was addressing 'haters' to her vlog.  She read some of the cruel words written to her...telling her that she'd taken the easy way out, and if she hadn't been so LAZY she could have lost the weight on her own.  Really people? Do you honestly think Fat people don't TRY to lose weight? Oh, that's right...you do. Why must we judge?

I'm not trying to bash thin. I'm just trying to get across the mentality of a Fat person and that being fat does NOT mean we did it on purpose or that we have not tried everything we could to stop it from getting worse, or to make it better.  Look at Kirstie Ally! That actress has gained it, lost it, gained it, lost it...over and over!

In some cases I think it really is an addiction to food.  In my case? I have no damn idea.  Portion control? Maybe. Over the past couple years I've tried to spend more time being aware of my body, and letting it tell me when I'm full.  But, I bet you didn't know that an obese person has a stomach the size of a football or a gallon jug?  AND, the top of your stomach is where the trigger is that tells you you're full.  So, imagine how much more you have to eat or drink in order to feel that FULL feeling! A football's worth! There are so many tricks out there to help you, and I've tried them all. Eat slower, chew your food reallllllly well. Etc.

I think I just wish that FAT was not so hated.  I am invisible. But then again, I don't want to see me either so how can I blame anyone else for not wanting to look at me?  Fat people don't need haters...they hate themselves more than anyone else can.

So keep in mind next time you see an obese person out there....and try not to judge too harshly.  They are people with hopes and dreams and self worth.

I have chosen to do surgery, but many obese people don't have insurance or the finances to do this. So they live their lives in quiet desperation. Only wanting to be accepted for who they are. Big or small.

What happened to kindness? I think we've forgotten what it means.

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