A happy me

A happy me
family - is everything

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Today is going to be an interesting day for my husband and I.  We have to sit down with the principal at the school where our children go.

I am frustrated by the way they handle things.  There is a little girl in our daughters class that has RDD (reactive detatchment disorder). This is pretty serious actually. It is usually found in adopted children that come from other countries, although it's common enough here as well. This basically mean, the child was not held at birth, or through their first year or two. That when the child cried for food, attention, or love, or anything....they were left until someone could get to them. It's very sad. This causes the child to shut down emotionally and they lose FOREVER their capability to form a bond with another human being.  This sounds pretty drastic and it is.  These children need counseling for the rest of their lives basically.

Another thing that you don't find in the 'text book' descriptions online for this disorder, is that these children grow up without much of a conscience. They become master manipulators at a VERY young age, and they have no qualms in lying right to your face.  To them...any attention they get is good attention.  So, it is a very serious disorder that has to be handled with special gloves.  You CANNOT always treat them like other children in class, as they will lie to you, steal from you, try to manipulate you, and do whatever it takes to get what they want.  We have had several incidents with our daughter and this little girl. Some days they are BFF's, and others it's like a tornado went through the day and tossed our daughter out like a broken twig.  We try as parents to teach her that honesty is #1.  You must tell the truth, even if you think it might get you in trouble. Telling the truth is always the best answer.  If you live by this rule, you will have respect from others, and you can respect yourself.

Ok. So, this brings us to this mornings meeting.  I have finally had it with the way the staff deals with this other little girl and the episodes that are exploding between her and our daughter.  Last week our daughter HIT the other girl.  Now, E is not a violent child, but I can see that her frustration with the way things are being handled for her are finally escalating and she is lashing out.  I'm not saying our little E is an angel...she is too much like me for that to ever happen! HA I am saying, however, that she deserves to be heard. She is 7 yrs old and the staff refuses to listen to her pleas for help.  She is told on the playground to "stop tattling', she is told in the classroom to "go sit down" or "do you have proof?".  Really? I am disgusted. I think I am even MORE disgusted because this is a private school.  I went to a small private school, and I sure remember the days of growing up and being so frustrated when they would NOT let me defend myself or speak my side.  I will NOT let this happen to my daughter.  I loved the fact that my parents wanted me to go to a private christian school, but even then it was never perfect.  I want a private school education for my children as well.  I am just finding that it's a much harder road than I ever imagined - being a parent. God help me.

Another thought on this....how much do you want to bet? If I were 130 lbs, with tight jeans and form fitting shirt, that I'd get a hell of a lot more attention from the principal?  That he'd LISTEN to me? hmmmmm Just a thought here.  Most of what I get from him now at 220 lbs is a lot of double talk and looking down his nose at me like I'm an uneducated moron. For some reason, a lot of people look at larger (fat?) people as stupid and lazy.  Why is that? To you that know me, you know I'm a hard working mama!

My husband and I want to get across to them this morning, that what should or needs to be done is this:  In order to HELP the little girl that has this disorder, why not have her counselor come and talk to the staff and teachers? OR, why not write up something that can be read by staff and teachers so they have a better handle and understanding of what this little girl needs?  Good idea? We think so.  Everyone needs to be on the same page and right now they are not. 

God help me today, because I tend to lose my cool when I'm around stupid people. God grant me some serenity and positive words to come out of my mouth. Amen

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